The Parmitayana Path

I wrote this for a friend who asked for a summary:

Pranidhana is the 8th stage of the Mahayana Buddhist path. This path is sometimes called "Bodhisattvayana" (a path of loving service to all the sentient beings still in sorrow) and Parmitayana (the path of cultivating the natural virtues of latent within the Buddha nature of each sentient being). They unfold from the initial opening of "dana parmita" (selfless giving which already implies a letting go characteristic of pranidhana) which can be translated as "openness, giving, curiosity, and wonder". It grows through ksanti parmita which can be translated as "patience, endurance, and humility" where we let go of more and more ego. It focuses through virya parmita which can be translated as "energy, devotion, and commitment". It organizes through sila parmita ("ethical idealism, karma containment, and natural discipline"). It is centered in meditation practice in dhyana parmita. It is understood in prajna parmita (intuitive wisdom, direct experience, and transcending conceptual knowing). It is further refined by upaya parmita (skillful means, remedial meditations, and spontaneous creative interaction). It is finally directly felt in pranidhana ("letting go, surrender, and flowing with divine wisdom energy). This pranidhana is grounded in bali parmita (faith, trust, and power to do miracles). It enters its natural sangha (community) in "dharma megha samadhi" where all the bodhisattvas and dakinis who have gone before one (in surrender) are felt as massive cloud of witnesses surrounding one in a visionary living experience. This surrender is integrated in enlightenment or Buddhahood, and then fully activated, awakened, and actualized, and lived within a Mahasiddha. As one unfolds on this path, one element becomes the primary focus in approximately this successive order, though it is really one energy maturing through its own natural growth process. Each one has the virtue of the one before it already within itself. Pranidhana has the energy of openness, humility, devotion, ethical idealism, meditation, illumination, and creativity within itself, just as the ones that are further along the path have pranidhana within them. The 8th stage is where there is only one religion, since every religion really teaches this one virtue. The meditation practices and prayer practices may differ. The ethical ideals and disciplines may differ. The belief systems may differ. But each and everyone of them will have a kind of deep surrender to a divine energy that is intuitively and directly felt. Those who reach this state will suddenly see how there are many saints of every tradition who embodied pranidhana and who inspire others to do the same. Because the surrender makes them more transparent to the Divine, people sometimes feel the divine energy channel through them into the world. This energy blesses, heals, calms, and illuminates and raises the life condition of the sentient being who surrenders to this action beyond the grip of adverse karmas (usually stage by stage, not all at once, but all at once is possible when people are truly ready to lay their burden down). The 8th stage is also where you can see in visions the mahasangha in visitations. These events usually happen when the "surrender is strong" when one is on top of one's process and in the flow. It seems each stage has a relative conditional level of learning and an integration of this learning (like in Buddhahood). In the relative level of learning, we do or do not do (sila parmita), but when integrated we naturally do all the time in a spontaneous unselfconscious activity (with occasional errors since it is not yet perfect until the mahasiddha stage).

I like this model because it is based on a pattern of psychological growth. It shows that getting flashes of sudden enlightenment (prajna parmita) in Zen Buddhism is only part of the process and why the way beyond sorrow in the 4th noble truth is the eightfold path which defines a new way of life. You enter the stream of this way of life and grow in a different direction. You renounce worldly success which has a very superficial terminus of growth and is too externally focused to really cultivate these inner virtues and usually does not value them. When one travels far down the parmitayana road, one can the world as being essentially very immature, raw, and unrefined, yet the seed of Buddha nature is still there. The Lotus arises from this mud and the mud has its place.

Essence of the Heart Sutra (version 17)

The Essence of the Heart Sutra
through Tenabah, copyright 2012

here and now,

I invite you to

directly contemplate,

feel, see into,

and intuit

the vast web

of interdependence

that all sentient beings

emerge from, arise within,

abide in, exist within,

change within,

and dissolve back into

by deeply feeling into

this vast interdependent field

directly feeling, seeing, and deeply intuiting

how everything arises

in dependence upon everything else

our hearts awaken to great compassion

and we flow within a wisdom

and cuts to the very root of all sorrow

and completely ends it

all experiences arise within this field

they cannot exist apart from this field

they always emerge dependent upon this field

they emerge from causes and conditions

within this field

and these causes and conditions

also depend upon all other causes and conditions

within this field

everything has a dependent existence

with everything within this field

we are all connected to each other

we are causes and conditions

in the lives of each other

we are experiences for each other

constantly interact with each other

through more than five senses

and more than five voices

this interaction changes each other

moment to moment

so that we are changing moment to moment

notice this and allow this

see if you can not resist this process

not tighten against what is always happening

let yourself pulse in and out of existence

in each moment

being born again and again in each moment

relax into this process

do not grasp or cling to anything

for security in this process

the process itself is enough to liberate you

rather than try to grasp things,

resist things, ignore things,

or obsess about things

for security, for identity,

for wisdom or for peace,

feel into not grasping, not resisting,

not ignoring, and not obsessing

about anything at all

deeply relax, let go,

and trust the process

that you are always in

always flow in the wisdom

that sees this

and the heart compassion

that feels this

rest in the interconnectedness

that we always emerge in

in the very connectedness

that allows you to hear these words

and feel what they mean

and rest in

what we share in common

deeply penetrating into

everything that exists

we notice that they are empty

of solid existence

that everything is changing

moment to moment

going deeper into each object

that we see, feel, hear, touch, and taste

we notice that they are made up

of smaller things

composed of living cells,

composed of the five elements,

composed of molecules,

composed of atoms,

composed of electrons, protons,

and neutrons,

composed of quarks, mesons,

and leptons,

composed of quantum particles of light,

composed of spinning vortexes of space,

emerging from an ever changing

tapestry of sacred moving geometry,

emerging from luminous, creative,

compassionate, wise living space

intimately and directly connected

to everything as it always appears

to every sentient being

through each of their multiple senses

experiencing everything

through every sentient being

everything experiencing everything

through every vantage point

of every sentient being

empty of solid existence

always changing

moment to moment

always dependent

on this luminous field

we are always one

with this field

we are always a part

of this field

this is our home

we can always relax here

and find peace here

beyond clinging and resisting

we can always rest here

beyond all the dramas of thought

that fearful mind can generate

we can always find peace here

our mental activity can always obscure

this simple truth

it can conjure through words

things that seem to exist

and make them real enough

to suffer endless painful and exciting dramas

which lead to fearing death and clinging to life

or wishing to die and fearing life

or it can create dramas

of not having what we want

and not wanting we have

or we can abide and feel how events

are always arising

flow with intuitive wisdom

and move across an eternal event horizon

an eternal present moment

poised between a supportive past and future

that in turn is also always changing

every sentient being

is composed of five conditions

consciousness, thought, emotion,

sensation, and body

which are in turn composed

of smaller conditions

which are in turn composed

of smaller conditions

until we see how we emerge

from everything that always

surrounds us

and from the luminous space

that everything always emerges from

you can call this luminous field

the supreme creator

god or goddess

but there is no god or goddess

except this field

and there is nothing outside this field

and that there are only sentient beings,

things, and experiences within this field

and nothing exists that does not depend

moment to moment on this field

resting in this field

trusting and abiding in this field

and even feeling yourself and others

as living expressions of this field,

is enough to end all sorrow,

heal all wounds, evolve every potential,

and celebrate life

as it unfolds moment to moment

forever

entering into the wisdom that sees this

and the love that feels this

flowing with this wisdom

feeling this flow

loving everything that arises with us

there is no longer any path

or any purpose other than this

all enlightened goals have been attained

or will naturally emerge when the time is right

we become enlightened beings

through abiding and flowing

in this heart wisdom

we fulfill all spiritual teachings

through abiding and flowing

in this heart wisdom

we enter into deep loving community

through abiding and flowing

in this heart wisdom

we wake up together

by sharing with each other

through this heart wisdom

we trust that everything

is always unfolding perfectly

every ethical precept

with its ideals, right behavior,

and exceptions

is fulfilled by flowing

in this heart wisdom

and this heart wisdom

is the natural common sense

that we always have

when we abide

in the loving luminous energy

that permeates all events

and unites them

we do not need to grasp

even this heart wisdom

we do not have to be afraid

of losing what is already a part of us

and what will always be there

in our deepest feeling for everything

we can always feel it

beyond the all the dramas

of our fearful thinking mind

when we enter

into the direct immediate experience

of what is happening now

and by consciously breathing

feeling the electromagnetic heart pulse

of our living bodies

that is always in this field

and always riding this field

inside all the fearful dramas

of thinking mind

is a cast of seemingly solid things

and people

who have been assigned roles

by the thinking mind

who follow rules of reality

defined by the thinking mind

and who move in rigid lines

of cause, effect, and choice

defined by the thinking mind

this mass of thought

is united by an ego structure

a sense of self and personality

defined by the thinking mind

the drama and the ego

arise in dependence upon each other

within the thinking mind

and cause all the pain that we feel

the ego that appears in these dramas

is not real, is completely delusional,

and is based on fearful clinging

to its own imaginary survival

let it die completely

and you will notice it is a fiction

and flashes into nonexistence

between each moment

and disappears whenever our minds

become deeply quiet of thinking

whenever we are deeply touched

by the beauty of nature

the fantastic shimmering of the auroras

the sunrise over the mountains

the sunset of the ocean

the majestic thunderstorms

the shooting stars light up the night sky

the gentle warm tropical rain touching our faces

the ego is gone

and only appears to exist again

when we start thinking

simply notice that this thought of self

is not real, not solid,

is always changing

and always subject

to causes and conditions

flashes into and out of existence

moment to moment

and is nothing more than a thought

and you are free

from this delusion

and then it becomes

an empty symbol

that you can use

in your words with each other

when you are expressing

intuitive wisdom

and communing with each other

simply notice how your mind

makes it more real than it really is

when you say

“i feel sad”

notice how sadness

arises in awareness

without any self attached to it

when you say

“i feel angry”

notice how anger

arises in awareness

without any self attached to it

when you say

“i feel afraid”

notice how fear arises

in awareness

without any self attached to it

notice how all emotions

arise in dependence

on consciousness, thought,

sensation, and body

and all the interactions

of the present moment

and interactions

with past memory

and future imagination

and a visualization

of interactions of

everyone with everyone

notice how your experience

is already always changing

and let it continue to change

relax into loving everyone

including yourself

and including

your friends, strangers, and enemies

wake up

to all the sentient beings

that co-arise with you

your spontaneous community

who is journeying with you now

a community that is constantly changing

new beings coming in

old beings going out

some returning and some not

take refuge in this

do not recoil

from the associations

that are happening now

know that until your natural love

arises for them

that they cannot really leave

but instead have become

a haunting fiction in your mind

a reactive thought seed

that can trigger

anger, fear, or sadness

until peacefully resolved

within intuitive wisdom

you can always enter

into this deep intuitive wisdom

this profound and complete wisdom

that ends all sorrow

and finds all joy

by chanting in the thinking mind

and speaking voice

until cleansed of all other thoughts

and entering into the silence

where this wisdom is obvious

this simple repetition

that embodies the full meaning

of all these words:

I am letting go,

I am letting go,

with every inhale

I let go of resistance,

with every exhale

I let go of clinging,

I really let go

of all resistance,

I really let go

of all clinging,

I totally let go

of all resistance

to anything,

I totally let go

of all clinging

to anything,

I let go of

all resistance

to others,

I let go of

all clinging to self,

I let go of

all resistance to thinking,

I let go of

all clinging to thinking,

I let go of

all resistance to feeling,

I let go of

all clinging to feeling,

I let go of

all resistance to sensation,

I let go of

all clinging to sensation,

I awaken to this present moment

as it arises right now,

I feel into this present moment

as it arises right now,

I breathe and flow with

this present moment

as it arises right now,

I relax into the warm luminous space

that has always supported me

I rest in the warm peace of luminous space

that is always there for me

I open up to the vast interdependence

of this luminous space

that includes everything and everyone

and radiate the love that is natural to me

and feel the joy of being

so shall it always be

Bardo Clear Light Tenabah c2012

Parallel posted on Facebook and replicated here:

When a sentient being ejects his or her consciousness from the body, whether the ejection is through skilled clear intention (phowa) or through passive allowance, he or she meets a radiant clear light. This radiant energy permeates the universe of form, everything arises from this energy, abides in this energy, returns to this energy, and is an expression of this energy. It appears for three days after ejection. If a sentient being recognizes this radiant energy as his or her home, her true identity, and abides there, then such a being can rest there and integrate this state. If the being tries to grasp and hold on to the bliss, then he or she spirals downward vibrationally, entering the realm of the peaceful guides, who try to help the being return back home. Failing this, the sentient being spirals downward to the wrathful guides who confront the being with his or her issues, reflecting them back so that he or she can return back home. Failing this, the sentient being enters the realm of the "fifty two peaceful and forty eight wrathful guides" (the realm of the psychotherapists who navigate the complexities of the ego to unravel the knots of confusion) in order to help this being back home. Failing this, the sentient being enters the "subbardo of seeking rebirth", sees a landscape appear with spinning vortexes of light where lovers are in deep communion with each other and are creating a place of entry into a world. The being is propelled by a vibrational karma that is essentially "like attracts like", pulling him or her into a rebirth situation. Intermediate beings are admonished to "turn toward the light" to halt the karmaic momentum that is propelling him or her to rebirth. Failing this, the being is admonished to seek rebirth in a family where the dharma is strong, then failing this to seek rebirth in a family that is healthy and prosperous, and then failing this to seek a birth in the human realm...

"So each of us in this human form failed all the way to the human realm?"

Most humans are not really trying to go for the highest rebirth possible in the bardo and just go where ever their karma leads them. It usually does lead back to the human realm in a rebirth much like the last one that they had. Karma is mainly repetition. If a person improves a little each lifetime, it gets better and better with each rebirth. A person can also "work hard" to get an inferior rebirth by not listening to the voice of conscience. Usually a person does not get a worse rebirth unless they ignore their conscience when it is screaming at them. But sometimes people do dull this voice and it cannot warn them. Unfortunately, a lot of addictions function in this manner.

In the Bardo Thodol, whose title translates as "Liberation through Hearing", there is the intention of supporting a "conscious crossing" to use the bardo to reach the highest state possible by the opportunity that presents itself at the time of death (ejection). From this viewpoint, a person can "fail" to reach and sustain those highest levels. But according to the teaching, every effort that one makes has a positive effect. Even if you reach and touch those states for some moments it creates some good karma that helps the human rebirth be better, happier, more loving, clearer, more creative, and wiser. Those moments become resources stored in the subconscious mind (the alaya vijnana) that can still pull a person upwards through the choices and challenges of "the bardo of ordinary life".

According to one of the Ksitigarba Sutras, there is more than one power that determines rebirth, there is "majestic power" and "karmaic power". The latter feels like an undertow that pulls one into and through experiences. The former feels like a conscious choice, motivated by compassion, viewed by the wisdom of knowing the consequences the choice will make, and with the support of skillful means (creativity) manifesting as "dharma power". It is a power that grows through practice and effort. It feels like free choice, a concentration on a pure loving thought which has the faith and confidence to naturally manifest itself, because no opposing thought rises from the subconscious mind to block it or bend it. Many higher beings choose to incarnate out of compassion for this world, to help elevate humankind and the animal worlds, to feed hungry ghosts, and give peace to the tormented souls of demons. These beings do not fail to be reborn in the human realm, but succeed in coming here.

In practice, even if one is choosing to return to the human realm, it is better to still aim for the highest rebirth possible in the bardo. It burns away the most karma, and once one is reborn in those higher realms to then choose to be reborn in the human realm on Earth. This way one will know that one is not here by the force of karma alone.

There is a third path besides aiming, willing, and practicing to attain the highest rebirth possible, or consciously choosing rebirth on Earth to perform loving service. This is to let the blessing power of a gracious Buddha or Dakini simply carry you into the Clear Light and allow you to make your home there. It involves a loving, trustful surrender into their care, especially as the grace fire burns away all the karma that blocks this from manifesting. You "chant through" this process in the faith that these beings will bring you there. It usually involves resolving some trust and control issues to be able to do, hence multiple chants are needed to establish this sincerity. The "sign of accomplishment" is seeing Suhkavati in some lucid dreams, with its beautiful pools of water, the meditators floating in the sky on lotuses, the buildings with no roofs on them because the weather is pleasant there, and where even the birds sing songs about the dharma ("all is transitory, let go, let go"). There are parts of Earth that are like this also, every world of sorrow as some islands of higher consciousness in them. Native Americans often go to these places during vision quests (going to those places is like taking a bardo voyage if approached with the right consciousness).

I am posting this partly as a kind of prep for the Chod Rite, to name the basic environment of practice, since the bardo is not merely something that exists after death, but operates in the background of daily human life, shaping events by synchronicity. During death, one veil is removed, and what is possible to see now is easier to see.

Chod Rite Doha

Chod Rite Doha
through Tenabah c2012

buddham saranam gacchami
dharmam saranam gacchami
sangham saranam gacchami

bowing and taking refuge
in the Buddha
the living energy of the path
the enlightened mind in all of us
a sentient being like us
who became enlightened
and thereby proved
that we too can realize
the unborn, the unchanging, the undying,
the peace of supreme nirvana

bowing and taking refuge
in the Dharma
the order of the universe
and the teachings that reveal
this order
the living understanding
of the this order
within us when
we hear and see the truth
of the teachings

bowing and taking refuge
in the Sangha
the living community
of those who seek enlightenment
who keep alive the understanding
of the teaching
who practice the precepts
who work through what arises
within them until no obstacle remains

mastering samatha
producing calm mind

mastering vipassana
watching without tampering with experience
no resistance and no clinging
to what arises
watching without analysis and interpretation
alert, open, curious, just watching
until insight dawns

studying the abhidharma
seeing the chain reaction of sorrow
knowing where to stop the reaction
and cut sorrow at the root

studying the madhyamika
understanding emptiness
and how everything is fundamentally
ungraspable, nonsubstantial, and not knowable
dissolving the mental imposition of duality
collapsing the subject object duality
entering the peace of samadhi

storehouse opens
ancient thought impressions
surface from the past
of many many lifetimes
imprints of craving, negativity, and delusion
anger, fear, and sadness arising
choosing to move through and empty
this storehouse
swimming across
the great ocean of sorrow
purifying the mind

actively inviting the fears
to be fulfilled
serious determined intention
to cut through each one
and reach the other side

going to the dark haunted places
the domain of pain and death
beating the drums
sounding the bone trumpet
shouting and hearing voice echo
in the dark canyon
offering this transitory body
as food for the demons
surrendering to all the fears
no resistance to anything left

ego self clinging
revealed, exposed, and naked
in the dharma light
rising above the thought of "I"
no self to lose
no self to gain
releasing here
and offering this illusory self
to the illusory demons
resistance collapses
and fear ends

body chopped into pieces
to make a life force soup
to feed the demons
giving them what they need
behind each craving

limb by limb chopped
into pieces
chopped into fine bits
no self found anywhere
not in the arms,
not in the legs,
intestines,
torso, heart, liver,
or brain

not in thought, emotions,
sensation, cognitions
or body
not in the past, present,
or future

demon fed
satisfied and disappears
next one arises
until the storehouse is empty

vibration of fear
transmuted into radiant liberating wisdom
ripples of fear waving through the void
mere sensation dissolving a phantom "I"

vibration of anger
imploding into the karma mirror seeing
imploding deeper into no self reflection
silent mind only having wakefulness and clarity

vibration of sadness
mourning the loss
of something never possessed
hand clinging to water
and not succeeding
even for a single moment
letting go of shadows
to enter radiant heart
demons become loyal allies

love
judge not
love your enemies
resist not evil
pray for those who persecute you
bless those who curse you
turn the other cheek
forgive those who crucify you
thank those who utterly kill you
and then
let the holy breath
resurrect you
in order that you may be
sons and daughters
of a vast living universe

Paravritti 2

Paravritti
by Tenabah c2012

I wanted to share a little more about the word "paravritti". The word appears in the Lankavatara Sutra in Buddhism. This sutra was the one that Bodhidharma, the sixth lineage holder of Zen Buddhism, studied and felt was the only sutra that a person needed to study in order to gain enlightenment. The word "paravritti" is a word used as a synonym for enlightenment. But like each synonym for enlightenment, it has its own unique gift and unique meaning. The Buddhist scholar Edward Conze translates this word as "a deep turning within the innermost consciousness".

I found this interesting because Jesus, when he starts his own Dharma teaching, says, "Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand." In ancient world of Jesus and Buddha, a teacher would usually sound a summary theme early in their teaching life. It would be like the four notes of Beethoven's fifth symphony upon which all kinds of more complex musical themes would develop off of or spin off of. The word for "repent" in the New Testament Greek of this summary theme is "metanoia" which literally means "go above (meta) your usual consciousness (noia)" and which also has the implied meaning of a deep turning within consciousness. In Jewish mystical writings, the idea of repentance is usually associated with changing direction, of moving in one direction with our lives and then turning completely around to go another direction. It is sometimes framed as living an "unrighteous" life to moving "towards God" who is seen as the source of love, compassion, and mercy (and who automatically forgives all sins when we do so).

The phrase "Kingdom of God" is a curious one in this passage, because it is in the present tense and is described as something within reach. Later passages describe this place as "within us and among us" (Luke 17). It is never used as identical to the word "heaven". In the Aramaic, the word translates as "kingdom" is "malkutha" and connects with the first of the ten spheres of life in the Qabalah. It is used to describe the Earth. In the prayer of Jesus has "te te malkutha" (part of "Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven"). It has the meaning of stepping into a kind of new Earth, living trust of the Divine, letting it organize synchronicities to support how your life unfolds, and taking all events from this point onwards as meaningful and purposeful, within the hands of one higher power that rules over all lesser powers and which does not struggle with evil or need to struggle with evil. In short, Earth is part of heaven in this vision, just as Earth is part of the solar system. It is about stepping in faith and with free choice into a new heaven and a new Earth instantly, in the here and now, by entering into "metanoia", a transformed consciousness. In this new world, there are only two commandments that are "like unto" each other, "love God with all your heart (aka your everything)" and "love your neighbor (aka everyone) as your self". There is an implication that these two commandments are really the same commandment, that we are meant to love our neighbor and ourselves "as God" and to love God through loving our neighbor. It fits John 17 where Jesus prays that all his disciples be one "just as" he and God are one. In this passage, too, he talks of "gnosis", a special kind of knowledge that can only come from direct living experience, and which cannot come through conceptual analysis or dogmatic belief in some assertion being true. Both are experientially blind (the word "revelation" in the Greek of the NT having the meaning of "removal of scales from the eyes"). He uses a form of the word "gnosis" in this chapter in a sentence that talks about "eternal life" (which in the Gospel of John seems to be a synonym for "kingdom of God") IS knowing God. This word for knowing is also used to describe how two lovers know each other in intimate loving sexual union. It is obviously more than intellectually believing your lover exists or dogmatically believing that your lover exists, and must necessarily be experiential.

Buddhism usually avoids theistic God language. It sometimes avoids it so much that many religious scholars in Christianity have categorized Buddha as an atheist or an agnostic. Others have assumed that Buddhism has some kind of idea of ultimate Divinity since in the experience of "nirvana", the third noble truth of the Buddha ("Nirvana is peace"), one experiences something the Buddha called "the unborn, the unchanging, and undying" (aka the Eternal). The Buddha used a lot of negation language, because he wanted to cut through every concept to reach a nonconceptual truth that the Zen Buddhists called "the Great Affirmation". In the Prajnaparmita set of sutras, there is a theme where even "Buddhist concepts" are also negated to reach this nonconceptual truth ("If even the Buddha's thoughts are meant to be transcended, how much more so even worldly thoughts"). This is a theme that I find a lot of people do not always "grok" about Buddhism, that it is more of a anti-philosophy than a philosophy and a non-belief system rather than a belief system, and even a kind of minimalist religion in that it is a way of life that is stripped down to something very essential. It does not mean either "atheism" (not believing in the existence of God) or theism (believing in the existence of God), because it is not about settling for any kind of belief at all. It is an insight into all conceptual beliefs and how they are not enlightenment. To use a metaphor to describe the view, if you liken the mind to a room full of furniture (with the mind being the space, and the concepts being the furniture), then a theist is one who has a beautiful giant statue in the middle of the room and an atheist has the same statue upside down. A Buddhist is one who notices what is in the room when all the furniture is removed.

What I got is that "paravritti" could be described if we assume we have two minds (we actually have about 12 different kinds of minds with 48 active factors and 52 peaceful factors). These two minds could be labelled "thinking mind" and "aware mind". The first mind focuses on interpreting, analyzing, testing, believing, and disbelieving. This mind eventually forms a belief system and out of this belief system comes a certain kind of "feeling of self", of who we are. This feeling of self is a mental construct which can react to other mental constructs. This mind "identifies" itself with the concept it has of itself and attaches to things that reinforces its sense of self, resists what negates this sense of self, is confused about what it has not figured out one way or the other, or ignores what does neither. Aware mind does not "think" at all. It is a silent mind that looks at everything and allows everything to be experienced. It is not merely a sensory mind that channels itself through the five senses. It is what "notices" all the sensations of the sensory mind. Without the aware mind, we would not experience anything at all, not even nothingness (which would be like "noticing" a blank).

In a person who is not enlightened, the thinking mind dominates and the aware mind is functioning unconsciously, behind the thinking mind, and is not noticed. I have always thought it a kind of curious paradox that the aware mind that notices literally everything and without which nothing at all could be noticed is the most not noticed thing. Objects of attention are constantly dwelled upon, but the act of attention itself is hardly ever focused upon. If you want to get a very immediate feeling of what could be a very deep form of meditation, place your attention on attention and do not think or analyze attention. Just hold steady on attention watching attention in silence. If you can keep the thinking mind out of it for five minutes, you can go very deep very fast (and then imagine what it would be like if you did a whole hour or even 40 straight days of this, the Buddha said if you could watch every breath without bringing in thought for one whole hour, then you would be enlightened).

If one even tries to meditate then one notices that "the thinking mind rules" and that the thinking mind, even though it creates our feeling of self, is "not us". If I decide to move my right hand upwards and then my right hand goes upwards, then my right hand "obeys me" and therefore in some sense expresses who I am. But if my right hand does not obey me and never does what I want it to, then I would not consider it a part of me. It would feel like something alien took my hand over. Yet our thinking minds are like this and we do not notice. Although I can control and direct my thinking to a certain extent, it usually is running thoughts without me. This shows up very strongly when I decide to "not think" and feel a massive traffic of thoughts running through my mind. My thinking mind can only be considered "mastered" or "an extension of myself" when I can do four things with my thoughts, (1) starting a thought, (2) modifying my thinking, (3) sustaining my thinking, and (4) stopping my thinking. Many people have not ever experienced the fourth aspect of mastery. It would be more true to say that thoughts are thinking them, that they identify with all the conditioned thoughts poured into them from teachers, peers, family, and religions. What replaces real thinking are just reactions of one thought to another. It is one of the more interesting and not so pleasant experiences one has in meditation to notice how much thinking runs oneself, rather than the other way around. What is curious is that this is the earliest experience one has when one first tries to do some serious meditation and tries to sit for one whole hour just watching the breath. The intention to just watch the breath and not think any thought other than holding the intention to watch the breath for one hour is never fulfilled (often for even years). What happens instead is that the mind wanders back to "thinking, thinking, thinking" and forgets to watch the breath, so much so that an honest appraisal of how long a person can sustain "no thought attention" is about five minutes out of the whole hour. Even this level of accomplishment can do miracles in consciousness.

There is a kind of reference point or "anchor" that feeds our thinking mind and defines how we feel ourselves and what we feel ourselves to be. This point is our "identification" with our thinking mind and our building up of a personality around what we think and what we feel about what we think. We are usually thinking a massive number of thoughts every day and even running them through to form all our dreams and our reactions in waking life and dreaming life. This reference point is our most subtle ego self and it is a complete delusion. This reference point is constantly anchoring itself in certain thoughts, then other thoughts, then the body, then a sensation, then an emotion, and so on. In some it is more fixated than others. But if we try to look for this "anchor" point, we do not find anything there that we can call a "real self". Most of the time we are not looking for this reference point, but just assuming it and living from it without question. We live from our thinking mind and its massive antique shop of collected beliefs and disbeliefs. We constantly clash beliefs with each other, both inside us and with others. We think our beliefs are nifty things and judge others with our beliefs, and our judgments are also beliefs.

Paravritti is about "a deep turning of our innermost consciousness". It is about flipping the two minds around so that the deeper silent one rules and the thinking chattering mind submits, rather than the aware mind being merely a passive onlooker and the thinking mind ruling. When these two minds reverse the relationship, then we have paravritti, enlightenment. Then we live from "aware mind", identify with aware mind, and, finally, use the thinking mind, rather than get used by it. This is the deep turning within us that brings us into the realm of enlightenment. To me, it is the only revolution that really matters. Everything else is really rearranging the furniture in the room, throwing out some furniture, and getting new furniture, but never really noticing the room itself and what the room itself really means.

In the Mahaparinirvana Sutra, the final discourse of the Buddha before he releases his physical body in the consciousness action called "phowa", shared that we get at least four gifts from enlightenment. They are "love bliss, eternity, self, and freedom". This simple sharing is important in so many ways, because a lot of people assume that Buddha did not believe that any self at all existed. But he did not teach that. He taught that the "belief in self" that we had was a complete fiction and that what we assumed was our self did not exist and that if we looked for this self we would never find it because it did not exist. We would not find it inside the "skandhas" (our cognitions, thoughts, emotions, sensations, and our body), in any combination of the skandhas, or outside the skandhas. The key word in the teaching of no self is "looking" and "not finding" (emphasis on "looking" aka "awareness" aka "directed attention") because what we are looking for does not exist. There is no self that is like what we "think we are" (emphasis on "think"). What I find curious is that when this teaching of no self is presented, people think, think, think about it, usually negating or disbelieving what Buddha said, and never wondering how such an advanced teacher could propose such a weird idea. But if one actually "followed" the path of looking that Buddha actually taught, went within, and noticed that every thought has "no self" attached to it, every emotion has no self attached to it, every sensation has no self attached to it, all our impulses to do have no self attached to it, and our bodies have no self attached to it. There is nothing that even looks like a self anywhere to be found (I always wondered what such a self would even be imagined to be looked like, but no one even goes this far). Thoughts, emotions, and sensations are too fleeting to be related any kind of permanent abiding self. To use the room metaphor, they zip in and out of the room so fast that they are not in any way permanent to the room itself. Their very transitoriness clearly shows them to not be part of the room. What we normally think our self to be is something intrinsic to who and what we actually are, something that is always in the room and never leaves the room.

After Buddha shows that thoughts, emotions, and sensations are too fleeting to be a permanent self or even a basis for a permanent self, then he goes on to analyze the body in a similar manner and does not find any self there either. We already have a sense of some difference between an alive body and corpse and assume the latter has no self in it. We associate the self with something that is only there when the body is "alive". If a person is "brain dead" then the self has gone from the body. This shows that what we feel is our self is not related to the mere existence of the body. Yet when we try to find some kind of body characteristic that is the self, we find none. If we look for an electric pattern in the brain or chemical pattern in the brain, or a combination of both, there does not seem to be one. It seems that our "waking self" disappears when we sleep, our "dreaming self" disappears when we wake up, and both disappear when we are in nondreaming sleep, and both are different from when the body is a corpse and there is no dynamic electro-chemical activity in the brain at all. What we call our personality is a pattern of mental and emotional reactions that people usually identify with us, and some continuity of this pattern as it often changes dramatically over time. Yet if some evil vile demonic personality was to "take over" our body, we would assume that something alien kicked us out of our body or at least the command center of our bodies, and started to live "in our body". Sometimes mental illnesses look like this or sometimes certain powerful drugs can do this, even against the will of the person, and even sometimes electrodes stimulating different parts of the brain can do weird things inside, like activate very vivid memories "against our will". The cognitions of various events, our noticing them, seems to be pulled around by sensations drawing us into them. Where is any self in this?

If we follow by "looking" and negating anything that is not a self, then we enter into "emptiness". Something releases its grip on consciousness, we are freed from a curious illusion about something, the thinking mind and its constructs are broken through, and we awaken to a deeper mind which feels like an "aware wakefulness". This deeper mind does not need to reference itself through any thought (including the thought of self), any concept (including the concept of self), any belief, any sensation, any emotion, or even any body. All these things are "content" (furniture in the room) which whether there or not there does not change the nature of the room or container. It is as if we have always been looking out a window to see a mountain, see the sunrise and sunset, see rain clouds and rain, trees turn green in the spring and brown in the fall, and yet did not ever notice the window we were looking through, or even the eye that looked through the window, or even the looking itself. If we notice the looking, rather than what is looked, and enter into the looking, we can enter this "awake awareness" and abide there. We can still use the thinking mind. In fact, unless we abide in aware mind, we are really used by the thinking mind rather than actually thinking. In order to maintain aware mind, learning how to engage thought without getting lost in thought becomes important and necessary. Zen usually focuses on mastery of thought by learning how to "not think", while Tibetan Buddhism focuses on mastery of thought by extensive visualizations and then erasing those visualizations. Thoughts are very powerful. They are even more powerful when we learn how to focus thought from our silent aware mind and "intend". A kind of telepathy becomes stronger over time. There is a feeling of self, of a kind of ground identity, as luminous presence. There is a feeling of this being "eternal". There is a kind of peace and happiness within this presence that is not a pleasurable sensation sustained indefinitely, but something deeper, calmer, and which is consistent below the pleasant and unpleasant sensations, all the craving and resistance games that come from those sensations when the mental construct self rules us. There is also a freedom that arises. When the previous self before the shift is looked at, it feels like we were a basketball dribbled all over the court and getting passed around all the time by our thoughts, emotions, sensations, and impulses to do, bouncing off of all kinds of boards, and never stopping to rest. When I looked back at my previous mind, it felt like all my thinking was just reactions of reactions to reactions with nothing really intentionally starting, focusing, following, and stopping any contemplation. It was like thought had a will of its own or was running on autopilot, and no one was really there. It felt like a fever had ended, and all the feverish thoughts had calmed down to zero, and something simple, wonderful, and obvious appeared.